Recursive Words

The life and times of a work-from-home software and web developer as he fights a house, four women, two cats, idiocy, apathy and procrastination on an almost daily basis.

  • Raiding the Kindle Book Store

    While tidying up in the hallway last night I discovered an envelope with my name on it tucked down the side of the window in the hallway. An undelivered birthday card from earlier in the week. Upon opening the card I discovered not one, but two Amazon vouchers.

    Here’s the crazy thing – I have more than enough money in the bank to go and buy books whenever I want, but resist doing so because I have so many unread books on the shelves behind me already.

    Give me a voucher though, and guess what I’m going to do?

    The attraction of the Kindle book store is of course that you receive the books immediately, rather than waiting until tomorrow. Tomorrow is forever away, isn’t it?

    I will unashamedly admit that I then spent an HOUR choosing a few books to download to my Kindle. After searching classics, and contemporary fiction, I ended up choosing the following:

    • The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway
    • For Whom the Bell Tolls, by Ernest Hemingway
    • A Widow for One Year, by John Irving
    • Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte
    • The Graduate, by Charles Webb

    I’ve been on a bit of an Ernest Hemingway kick recently. I’ve always loved the way he writes, and after watching “Midnight in Paris”, ended up reading “A Moveable Feast”, and fell in love with it.

    A small part of “A Widow for One Year” was made into a wonderful movie with Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges a few years ago called “The Door in the Floor”. I’ve always known it was from a much longer book, but never got around to getting a copy – until today.

    I guess Wuthering Heights made it onto the list because of the recent movie. We didn’t make it to the cinema to watch it, but I’m still curious what all the fuss is about. I’m very much my own person when it comes to “the classics” – I would much rather read them and make my own mind up, rather than spout the received wisdom of others.

    The same goes for “The Graduate”. I’ve never actually seen all of the movie with Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft – of course I’ve seen the famous bits – and I’ve often wondered what it’s really about. Now I’ll get to find out.

    So there you go. Several books to read in bed over the next few weeks.

  • Half Past Midnight

    Where does the time go? Where did the week go? Somehow it’s already Thursday morning – or rather, it will be when I get up in a few hours time – after I go to bed.

    Oh – while I think of it – for those that didn’t realise, yesterday’s post – “1973” – was co-authored by artificial intelligence. Only one person seemed to realise. I wondered how many of you would. I don’t know about you – and perhaps I’m more attuned to it than most because I work with it day-in, day-out – but there’s a certain “smell” to AI generated content.

    Don’t get me wrong – it’s brilliant, and getting better all the time – but there’s something missing from anything created by artificial intelligence – and it’s hard to put your finger on what it is.

    While it’s easy to say “it will never be the same as the real disjoined ramblings of us humans”, I would perhaps remind everybody that Garry Kasparov once told anybody that would listen that machines would never beat the top humans at chess. He was very quickly proved wrong.

    There’s an allegory for it – the artist and the toolmaker. Given enough time, the toolmaker will always defeat the artist. The big difference this time is the toolmaker has made a toolmaker tool, and it’s better at making tools and toolmakers than the toolmaker themselves – and every time it tries again, it gets better at it.

    At some point soon you won’t be able to tell that AI wrote a news story, or a magazine article, or a blog post. Perhaps it’s a blessing – if we start to reject the masses of unverifiable interactions and content flooding the world, we’ll end up returning to face-to-face interaction, and appreciate each other’s company far more than we have in some time.

    The internet made the world small. Artificial intelligence and algorithmic timelines have filled that world with halls of mirrors.

    Anyway.

    1am is racing towards me with wild abandon – waving it’s arms enthusiastically – as if it hasn’t seen me since at least two nights ago.

    Tick tock, tick tock.

    It really was my birthday yesterday, in case you’re starting to doubt everything. After work we all put our last clean clothes on and headed to the pub for a meal. Somehow we lucked into our youngest charge (now six weeks old) not screaming the place down – she slept throughout much of the evening.

    Seeing as it was my birthday, I talked everybody into getting pitchers of cocktails. I couldn’t tell you what they were – there was a pink one, and a purple one. They both tasted like vodka and fruit squash. After drinking at least a pint of one of them, I had no headache this morning – which I thought rather miraculous.

    For my birthday, my other half bought me a subscription for the teatime bookshop – an internet store that sends a book and tea every month – only I got the upgraded version that swaps the tea for wine. You can also pick a genre – she chose non-fiction for me. I might change it to fiction – we’ll see. I wonder if they do banned or notorious books as an option?

    I never did finish reading Fifty Shades of Grey. I made it as far as the first sex scenes, and thought “is this it?”.

    I really should go to bed. It’s getting properly late, and I have work in the morning. Oh. I also got a Toblerone chocolate bar. A huge one. I might have a couple of triangles before bed.

  • 1973

    Time is a funny thing. We treat it with such immense, heavy-lidded gravity, yet when you strip away the calendars and the clock-watching, a “year” is nothing more than a record of how many times a damp, slightly confused ball of mud has managed to complete a lap around a fairly ordinary main sequence star without falling into it. It’s a bit like cheering for a racehorse that doesn’t know it’s racing and wouldn’t understand the trophy if it won.

    We orbit, we count, and we convince ourselves that each revolution is a brand-new narrative arc, rather than just the cosmic equivalent of a record needle caught in a particularly long-playing groove. 1973 was one such lap—a 365-day stretch of the mud-ball’s journey where the occupants were particularly busy being loud, colorful, and occasionally profound while hurtling through the vacuum at sixty-seven thousand miles per hour.

    In January, the air was somber but the charts were vain. While the world mourned Lyndon B. Johnson and watched the Watergate trial begin its first slow rotation, Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” sat at number one, a lyrical puzzle that we are still trying to solve decades later. Elvis Presley took to the stage in Hawaii for the first worldwide satellite telecast, a moment of high-tech glitz that signaled the “Now Generation” was officially handing the baton to the “Me Generation.”

    February saw the arrival of a new kind of hero—the kind who didn’t just fight, but lived in the myth of himself. While Muhammad Ali was busy winning in the ring, David Bowie landed at Radio City Music Hall in a contraption like a giant Christmas ornament. He was Ziggy Stardust, a Martian in black lipstick, reminding us that pop culture is often just a mirror reflecting our own desire to be someone, or something, else.

    By March, the loop tightened. The first issue of Rock Scene magazine hit the stands with Bowie on the cover, cementing the glam-rock aesthetic into the collective consciousness. Alice Cooper was showing his “softer side” in interviews while simultaneously performing “I Love the Dead,” proving that the line between the persona and the person is always thinner and more recursive than we care to admit.

    April was a month of televised rituals. The Eurovision Song Contest crowned Luxembourg as the winner, while Top of the Pops moved to its iconic Friday night slot in the UK. We watched Tony Orlando tie yellow ribbons around old oak trees, a sentimental loop that became a shorthand for longing and return, even as the world around it was becoming increasingly cynical.

    In May, the scale of everything shifted. Led Zeppelin played for over 56,000 people in Tampa, breaking the record set by the Beatles and proving that the rock-and-roll stadium era had reached its final, massive form. Meanwhile, the final paintings of a dying Pablo Picasso went on exhibit in Avignon—unsigned, as if the work itself was the only signature that mattered.

    June brought us the premiere of The Rocky Horror Show in London, a musical that would eventually become the ultimate recursive experience—a movie that people return to week after week to speak the lines back to the screen. It was also the month John Dean began his marathon testimony, a six-hour monotone loop that would eventually bring down a presidency.

    July was a month of heavy exits. We lost the pin-up icon Betty Grable and the martial arts legend Bruce Lee, whose death just before the release of Enter the Dragon created a mythic loop that hasn’t stopped spinning. At the Hammersmith Odeon, Bowie “retired” Ziggy Stardust, killing the character to save the man, a classic move in the recursive playbook of artistic survival.

    August 11, 1973, is a date we now circle as a point of origin. At a back-to-school party in the Bronx, DJ Kool Herc used two turntables to loop the “break” in a record, effectively inventing hip-hop. It was the ultimate act of recursion: taking a fragment of what already existed and turning it into something entirely new.

    September felt like a series of opening acts and closing curtains. The Rolling Stones were touring Europe, the Roxy Theatre opened its doors in West Hollywood, and we lost the soulful voice of Jim Croce in a plane crash. Pop culture was expanding and contracting simultaneously, a heartbeat of neon and grit.

    By October, the monuments were rising. Queen Elizabeth II opened the Sydney Opera House, a building that looked like sails frozen in time. In the U.S., the “Zebra murders” began a dark loop of violence in San Francisco, a reminder that the “peace and love” of the previous decade had long since folded into a more complicated, fractured reality.

    November was a month of looking back to look forward. Frank Sinatra came out of retirement—the first of many “last” loops—and we marked the tenth anniversary of the JFK assassination. On television, rock music was everywhere, with The Midnight Special and In Concert battling for the late-night attention of a generation that stayed up later than the one before it.

    December ended with a Top of the Pops Christmas special that featured everyone from Slade to David Cassidy. It was a year-end wrap-up that felt like a victory lap for a culture that had completely transformed itself in just twelve months. We were singing along to “Merry Xmas Everybody,” already preparing for the next rotation of the wheel.

    In the midst of all this cosmic orbiting and cultural noise, we almost forgot a specific point on the map—the moment the needle skipped and started a brand new track. On Saturday, March 3rd, 1973, while the ball of mud kept spinning, the world was preoccupied with its own reflections. Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song” was the number one anthem on the radio, providing a hauntingly smooth soundtrack for the morning. In the cinemas, audiences were flocking to see the disaster epic The Poseidon Adventure, watching a luxury liner capsize while they sat safely in the dark—a fitting metaphor for a decade that felt like it was constantly turning upside down.

    Meanwhile, Pink Floyd was a mere forty-eight hours away from releasing The Dark Side of the Moon in the UK, an album destined to loop through our speakers for the next several centuries. But more importantly for the narrative of this particular blog, amidst the echoes of Ziggy Stardust and the shadows of Watergate, one more thing happened – I was born.

  • Reconnecting the dots

    It’s 10am on Sunday morning, and the house is unexpectedly quiet – which makes me wonder what kind of shit-show is about to unfold.

    The bathroom renovation is still a skeletal mess of exposed pipes and broken promises, and the kids are still holed up somewhere or other scrolling a thousand TikToks.

    A few weeks ago I wrote about us all being like leaves on a river – that we cross each other’s paths, swirl around the same eddies for a while, and then the current – be it work, family, or just the sheer, exhausting inertia of getting through a Tuesday – pulls us apart once again. We don’t lose or forget each other exactly – we’re just busy being run over by whatever has come around the next bend.

    Well… today I think I’ve somehow paddled my way back into the main part of the river.

    It started with a stray notification from a social network I haven’t properly lived in for years. One of those “Look who’s back” or “You have 412 unread memories” pings that usually just make me feel old and slightly guilty. But instead of hitting ‘clear,’ in a moment of idiocy I followed the breadcrumbs.

    Logging back into old spaces feels like walking into a pub I used to frequent in younger years. The decor is different, the music is weirder, and you’re not entirely sure where the toilets are anymore, but then you see a face across the room, or the corner where that thing happened, and suddenly you’re home again.

    I’ve spent so much time lately feeling like I was stuck in the weeds—hiding away from the “social internet” because it felt like a shouting match I didn’t want to win. I’d retreated into my own little safe backwater.

    But as I scrolled through the updates of people I used to talk to every day—people who saw me through the early days of blogging—I realised the river is still there. It’s wider than I remember, and definitely more turbulent, but the people who mattered? They’re still there.

    Clicking like on posts written by people you’ve not seen for years feels like nodding towards them across a busy room. “You’re still here?” “Still here.” It turns out, we’re all fighting the same idiocy, the same chaos, and the same creeping suspicion that we’re the only ones who haven’t figured out how the world works yet.

    I’ve been away for far too long, convinced that the gap between us had grown too wide to bridge. But the internet, for all its idiocy and apathy, has this funny way of bending space. You can be gone for years, and the moment you post a fragment of thought, it’s like you never left.

    It feels good to be back in the deep water. If you’re out there, still drifting along the same bend of the river I just re-joined: hi. It’s been a while.

    Anyway.

    I should probably stop before this turns into a manifesto. I think there’s some cold pizza in the kitchen, and frankly, pizza solves most things.

    See you on the next bend.

  • Dirty clothes are the new normal

    The bathroom still isn’t finished. It’s still nowhere near finished. We’ve been without a washing machine, a shower, or a downstairs toilet for a month now. I’m not going to name and shame the company involved. You can imagine how unimpressed we are though.

    In spite of the on-going shit show, I would like to say that one of the team – the guy that’s done the majority of the heavy-lifting in terms of tiling and general building work – has been outstanding. Of all the tradesmen that have visited, he’s the only one that’s done a consistently professional job so far.

    We won’t talk about the electrician that killed the internet connection. The PTSD is real.

    While on a call with work this afternoon I was asked how it was going. I don’t think anybody was surprised when I stated that I would never hire a company to do anything to our house ever again. I also stated that if there was any possibility I could learn something myself, and do it myself, then I would in future – because it turns out if you ever want anything done, you’re far better off just doing it yourself.

    One of my co-workers that knows me well started grinning and volunteered that she knew exactly what I was about to say before I said it. I’m the same way with software development. I trust myself to get things done far more than others, and will typically just get the proverbial pick axe and shovel out and start swinging, rather than ask for help.

    On about co-workers, on Tuesday evening we walked into town and met up with a number of them – both present and from years past. It’s become a sort of regular thing. Most of us worked together for the better part of twenty years. Some have retired, some have moved on to pastures new, but something brings us back together every so often. It was lovely to see some old faces and catch up with each other.

    Of course the universe must have noticed us all having too much fun. A little later it the week one of our number got made redundant. While I would typically say I might miss somebody enormously, that world doesn’t really exist any more. We all work from home – so you can’t really miss somebody that you spend no time with – and there’s nothing to stop us calling each other – perhaps more often than we do at present.

    When you work together for long enough, you’re not really co-workers any more. You’re friends.

    The events of the week have brought into focus how important it is that I keep the YouTube channel going. It’s always been a sort of accident – not only that it exists, but that it has become moderately successful. That it might provide a parachute when I eventually decide “enough is enough” with software development (or rather, if somebody else decides that for me), is fortuitous really – it’s a good safety-net to have in my back pocket.

    In a perfect world I wouldn’t be writing software, or flying pretend aeroplanes – I would just be writing. I’m not entirely sure there will ever be enough opportunities to make money from writing to survive though. I’m also the world’s worst self-publicist. Whenever I set foot in any of the social networks populated by writers, I’m immediately driven away by their incessant torrent of marketing dressed up as engagement and empathy.

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful to make enough from writing a blog to give up work and just empty your head into the keyboard each day. I suppose you have to actually set foot outside the door to make that workable though – you have have to actually live to have any stories to tell. Just sitting here in front of a computer probably doesn’t cut it.

    There’s only so much interest that can be conjured around the same mayhem you’ve been sat in the middle of for the last twenty-something years. Perhaps that’s the goldmine though – extracting empathy from the all-too-common struggle to just survive until tomorrow, and keep doing it.

    Anyway…

    I’m aware I’ve kind of fallen off the internet this week. I need to try and reach out to friends over the weekend – both near and far – and re-charge my own batteries a little.

    The builders are back in the morning – finishing tiling, plumbing, and hopefully getting the washing machine connected back up. The final finishing should happen on Monday. I say “should” because nothing really surprises me any more.

  • Sunday morning coffee

    I woke a little after 7 this morning, told the radio to shut-up, then fell back asleep. I don’t remember what I dreamed about during the next few minutes – but I remember wishing I could return to the story when I woke the second time. After gazing at the wall for a while, a cog turned inside me that rolled me upright, and set about finding clothes for the day ahead. But perhaps a bath first.

    We still have no shower. For the last three weeks I’ve been jumping in the bath every few days, but mostly subsisting with strip-washes. I had a shave this morning too – I feel clean and tidy for the first time in days.

    It’s interesting how everything seems to happen in waves. It feels like I’m climbing out of a hole at the moment. The internet is fixed. My body seems to be repairing itself after being sick for the last few days. The bathroom will hopefully be finished this week. Of course then we’ll set fire to the washing machine.

    Did I mention that we’ve had no washing machine for three weeks? The washing machine lives in the bathroom that’s out of action at the moment. Can you imagine what that’s like – when there’s seven of you in the house? Eight on a bad day? I resorted to buying clean clothes last week.

    While all the mayhem has been revolving around us, it’s nice to know that the wider world is just as awful as ever. We have a skip on our drive. A couple of nights ago a considerable quantity of builders waste – not our own – appeared in the skip. Also, something entirely unexpected has happened every few days the skip has been there – a van has driven past, and it’s occupants have robbed the skip of any metalwork.

    While emptying my head, I’m listening to Kacey Musgraves. I still haven’t ordered any vinyl albums – I really should. Her music has become a quiet soundtrack to the study in recent weeks. I wonder if the mighty cloud music machinery can suggest similar artists? I’m aware of the likes of Lainey Wilson, Miranda Lambert, and Carrie Underwood – but they are far more “country” than Kacey’s recent albums. I guess Kate Voegele is a little closer?

    Story telling songs somehow remind me of Vonda Shepard. Back when I was single I used to watch Ally McBeal (until they ruined it and gave her relatioships – the whole point of the show in my mind was that she was always unlucky). For those that don’t know, Vonda Shepard often closed the show – playing live in their local bar. Bittersweet songs filled with yearning for what might be.

    We’re heading out for dinner with friends this evening at a local pub. A rare treat. A chance to decompress and step outside of our world for a few hours – to find out how the rest of our little world is doing.

    I find it easier to deal with the world if I make it smaller – especially given the mayhem going on in the wider world at the moment. The amount of supposed hate so many fling at each other is pretty draining at the best of times. Everybody seems to have an opinion and is willing to invest inordinate amounts of time presenting their opinion – but nobody ever does anything. It’s almost that they think complaining is enough – and that the rest of the world aren’t sick of hearing about it.

    It doesn’t help that social networks have essentially been killed by AI generated slop – which behaves much like a fungus; feeding the disenfranchised masses exactly what they’re looking for – because attention can be monetised – and the masses don’t seem to know or care that they’re being fed their own spite and vitriol.

    It’s solyent green, isn’t it.

    Maybe if I go make a coffee, and put something hopeful on the record player, the world will right itself for a few minutes. Let’s hope.

  • It just keeps getting worse

    If there is a creator in the universe, he/she/it has obviously noticed my occasional dissent, and started making moves to put me in my place.

    The electrician that visited this morning to finish re-wiring our bathroom – the bathroom that will be heading into it’s fourth week of construction next week – somehow managed to break the fibre connection within the house.

    You would be amazed how fast the children appeared following the loss of their connection to endless scrolling videos of people spouting ridiculous crap. I have no idea what the kids are up to tonight – probably staring at the wall – or discovering just how much data costs if they turn their phones into hot-spots.

    Thankfully we finally passed the last mobile phone contracts over to our kids about a year ago.

    So… I spent half an hour after lunch waiting in a queue to talk to the support desk of our internet service provider, who took my details, claimed to have checked something, and said a technical representative would call me back. It was obviously an off-shore call centre that does no more than fill a form out to request an Open Reach (British Telecom) engineer visit.

    Only nobody called back, so I ended up emailing their support department this evening, and explaining what was going on. Funnily enough, twenty minutes later the same call centre called me back, took exactly the same details as earlier, and then said an engineer would visit tomorrow afternoon.

    I’m guessing forcing a second call is a tactic to earn two lots of phone call time on a premium number.

    So… I’m stuck here all tomorrow now too – in the morning waiting for the tiler to finish tiling the bathroom, and in the afternoon waiting for the network engineer to arrive and replace about 6ft of fibre-optic cable.

    Wonderful.

    I’m almost out of sense of humour at this point.

    We won’t even start about the bathroom, where almost everything that was promised has been a lie so far. It strikes me there are three choices with home renovation projects – either hire an enormous company, who will hire local workman anyway (who will let you down), or hire local workmen directly (who will let you down), or do it all yourself.

    It’s kind of a common theme in everything, isn’t it – if you ever want anything done, you end up doing it yourself.

    In other news, I had yet another email this morning from an internet advertising “agency”. I’ve learned all about these outfits since the YouTube channel became any sort of size – they claim to be able to help you “grow your audience” – by working some sort of network marketing scam that generates traffic and money – for a fee of course.

    What is it with Generation Z thinking that scraping a percentage off the top of any other successful business is a viable business in any way, shape or form? The primary reason content creators become successful is because they create original, useful content – and it grows organically – not because they paid some twenty year old that has no content of their own to sell to sell their content for them – for a fee.

    Idiots.

    Anyway.

    I still have the cough and cold my wonderful children gave to me. I was going to have an early night, then wander to the pub for breakfast in the morning – but of course cannot do that now, because of tradesmen and network engineers.

    When will anything go right?

  • Three years

    It’s been three years since I last took any time off sick – which is remarkable, I suppose. I finally caved in this morning – after catching a horrible cough and cold from my daughters – and checked out of work for the rest of the day (not before I logged in and pushed several bits and pieces over the line that will benefit everybody else).

    I probably shouldn’t have worked yesterday either, but the entire day turned into “I’ll just get this done”, and “I’ll just get that done”. It didn’t help that most of the things I was doing were of direct benefit to others. I am, have always been, and will always be my own worst enemy – putting the needs of everybody else ahead of my own at every juncture.

    Of course now I’m fighting the impulse – while not working – to get on with something else, rather than actually rest. Own worst enemy. My other half had a go at me this morning – telling me that if I didn’t work from home there would be no way I would be going to an office, so why did I think it was ok to carry on from home?

    I guess she had a point.

    In other news, I finished watching “Small Prophets” last night – a wonderful series on the BBC written by Mackenzie Crook about somebody growing “homunculi” in their garden shed. If it sounds bizarre, it’s because it is – but it’s also full of the charm and gentle humor we’ve come to expect from Mackenzie Crook. The Detectorists will forever be a favourite in our house.

    While not doing much today, I’ve been tinkering with various writing and note-taking apps. After looking at Apple Journal, Day One, Bear, Notion, Obsidian, and Scrivener, I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter what app you use to write – they all do the same thing. The winner looks like being Obsidian (because it’s easy), with all of my writing sitting in Github (because it’s free).

    Something that has occurred to me is that whatever I use to write doesn’t really need to work on my phone or tablet – because that’s not what I use them for. I’m a bit old-school when it comes to writing – I like having a proper keyboard.

    Before anybody mentions it, I’m aware there’s a nice keyboard for the iPad, but I’m not willing to pay the exorbitant price for something I won’t use all the time.

    I dug my old Chromebook out last week and charged it up. It’s still in mint condition – perched in a gap on the bookshelf. It was my “daily driver” for a long time – until the huge switch to Apple stuff. I still use Google Docs for all sorts of things, and prefer it over either Microsoft Word, Apple Pages, or LibreOffice. When I first switched to Apple I thought about transferring everything to iCloud, but then discoverd that iCloud really isn’t cloud storage – it’s cloud sync. Not entirely, but enough that it’s confusing.

    Oh. One last thing, then I’ll stop emptying my head.

    You probably noticed that I switched the personal blog away from Substack. While I love substack, it really isn’t the place for personal blogs any more – and despite my misgivings about Automattic, there’s no other easy alternative out there at the moment that “just works”. Yes, I could host my own blog, but I really don’t want the hassle – I just want to be able to write, publish, and share the idiocy that creeps out of the dark corners of my brain.

    Anyway.

    Probably a good point to shut up.

  • Twenty Five Years

    After getting up this morning and feeling decidedly second-hand (thanks go to my children for bringing the latest round of the lurgy home), I fired up my work computer and posted a note to the wider team that I would answer any immediate questions and then sign off for the day.

    Only that’s not what happened, because I’m my own worst enemy.

    I started out by looking at the status of some ongoing work (apologies for being vague), and that of course opened a rabbit hole that I fell straight down. Before I knew it, I was in the 11am team meeting, and after that deploying a fix to an underlying issue (I’m a software developer, if you’re wondering what on earth I’m on about).

    While waiting for some tests to run in a far-away server farm, I busied myself with unread messages and emails, and discovered a video about an ongoing reorganisation within the company – and realised with dread that they were about to call out my name.

    I have been doing what I do for 25 years.

    My first reaction was “oh my word”. Sure, I might have figured it out some months ago – that the anniversary was coming up – but then it went completely out of my head until this morning.

    I’m just thinking back – to where it all started – and thought I might share a little of my story with you.

    When I left college, I worked for the family business for a year or so – a quarry in the cotswolds – mostly in the office, doing typical office chores – filing, payroll, and so on. One day – some time in about 1995 – the company accountant – who also lent his accountancy services to various other companies in the area – called me and asked if I wanted a “real job”.

    He directed me towards a small company in a neighbouring town that were growing quickly, and needed somebody to become their “computer person”. I was hired immediately, and began the first five years of my career with computers – rolling out a network, Windows 3.11, and developed all sorts of quoting, scheduling, and database software that their business ran on. During my time there Windows 95 and 98 arrived, and ethernet became very much the standard for networking.

    In 2000 I met a girl, and while figuring out about moving in together, started scouting around for jobs nearby – and dropped into a consultancy company a couple of miles away for a chat. The chat rapidly turned into being hired.

    The next twenty-something years would take me all over the country to work on all sorts of projects – mostly related to document and content management, and business automation. For a while I became something of a unicorn, and found myself working in the depths of London for a couple of years (four hours commuting each day!), and then flying out to Germany almost every week for a further couple of years. During my time there we saw the arrival of Windows XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10, and 11 – and of course the proliferation of Linux.

    Away from work I tinkered with Linux from time to time, and picked away at a few open source projects – one of which – an early blog script – became accidentally popular. I can still remember the day an engineer in a huge corporate emailed me – “we’re just installing the blog script that came with our Novell servers, and have some questions”.

    About three years ago the company I had worked at for twenty-something years got acquired by a much bigger company – and I finally got to find out if the grass was greener at a big company or not. I’m still not sure.

    Since the pandemic I’ve been working from home too – something else I had always wondered about. I’m still not sure about that either.

    It’s been an amazing journey – and I’ve had the privilege of working with some wonderful characters along the way.

    Twenty five years though. Oof.

  • The re-discovered country

    I’m sitting in the dark of the junk room watching the remains of the weekend ebb away from me. Sunday became Monday a minute or two ago. Kacey Musgraves is quietly filling the room with songs about anything and everything while I busy myself with avoiding the arrival of tomorrow.

    An old friend reached out across the internet late last night. The few words we exchanged provided the catalyst for yet another damn fool Internet escapade. Another crusade I don’t really have time for.

    It’s almost like I can’t resist slippery slopes.

    You may recall I wrote earlier in the year about searching for a lost tribe. I’m considering mounting an expedition in search of them. Making time to return to the fold at WordPress and Tumblr. I have no idea what or who I might re-discover, but that will be part of the fun.

    Not so much the undiscovered country, as the re-discovered country.

    I often hear people talk about “losing touch” as if their connections are forever broken. I prefer to think of them as misplaced. The thing about things you mis-place is they are still there.

    While trying to make sense of it all in the past, I’ve drawn a parallel with leaves on a river – quite unexpectedly crossing paths, travelling together for a time before being pulled apart by the turbulent currents that life throws at us. While you might lose sight of them in the chaos, you never forget. We change each other.

    I’ve always thought the internet has a funny way of bending time and space – bringing you back to the same bends of the same rivers over and over again.

    In the “re-discovered country,” nobody is ever truly gone. They are just waiting for the right catalyst—a late-night message, a shared song, a sudden urge to log back into a forgotten dashboard.

    Perhaps we leave bits of ourselves behind – paragraphs, photos, fragments of thought. Perhaps they are like breadcrumbs that eventually lead us back to one another.

    I suppose it’s a realisation of sorts – that the most wonderful people have been  woven into the fabric of my story. No matter how far the river carries me, we’ll cross paths again eventually.

    It’s almost like the cogs of the great machine were designed for a greater purpose. In the end, its waters always find a way to bring us back to the same shores.